Hello and welcome to my world. Boy is it sticky and uncomfortable in here. I thought I’d take this opportunity to introduce myself and tell you a little bit about what this blog is about. And what it is not about.
Me. I’m an aspiring writer. Which means I’m great at taking naps. I don’t write in public nearly enough, which I guess would make me not so serious about becoming a writer. But once my daughter is crate trained, I’ll be heading up to Starbucks much more frequently, shitty laptop in tow.
More about me. I’m scared of a lot of things. Spiders, in-laws, failure, undercooked chicken, Those Funny Little People. My life is a long list of woulda-coulda-shouldas. I also like to eat noodles – noodles of every kind. Just give me noodles! And I’ll eat them. That’s me in a nutshell.
What this blog is not. It’s not a food blog or a mommy blog. It’s not about fitness or sports. It’s not about stamp collecting, gardening, religion, politics or entertainment. I will not be scaling the Matterhorn or spelunking into the Cave of Wonders and then telling you all about it and how awesome I am.
I reckon this blog can be defined only as a potpourri of crap. A crappouri, if you will. If there’s anything that I’ve learned from reality television, it is that mouthbreathers like me with no discernible talent and nothing to offer belong in the limelight. Basking in it and twirling their skirts and sharing their insignificant feelings and opinions. No you do not have to work hard to be successful and celebrated. And that’s why I spend a considerable amount of my income on lottery tickets and Spanx.
Thanks for reading! Tell a friend! If you have no friends, then go make one and tell them about this blog. They will think you are quirky and mysterious and sexy and invite you to their next swingers’ party. You’re welcome.